The Nuts In My Mouth Insinuate That I'm Ballin'

America is abuzz with Grillz Mania. For the uninitiated, grills are removable pieces of mouth jewelry that are fitted on the teeth. Grills have been in and out of hip hop fashion forever, but it just took the realest rapper alive to bring it to the masses. Music historians can debate whether or not Nelly's master opus "Grillz" will qualify as the world's worst song ever, but there is no question that Ali from the St. Lunatics, Nelly's weed carrier and "Grillz" guest rapper, is the recipient of the Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyric of All-Time award.

Attempting to showcase his wealth, lyrical dexterity and mastery of presidential history in one lyric, Ali proudly declares "I got a bill in my mouth like Hillary Rodham!" Yikes! Without exaggeration, Ali's verse is a pink ascot away from "I got a gerbil in my caboose like Richard Gere."

A few quick points that should have been considered before the MP3 was sent to iTunes: First, a bill is only $100, so if your grill only set you back a C-note, you're basically talking about a filling (and that's $100 on an insurance co-pay). Second, if Hillary Clinton is putting Bill in her mouth, you know what time it is. That's a bloje, homes. Taken literally, Ali fixed a cavity. Metaphorically, he sucks dick. That's a hip hop lose-lose.

You can tell Nelly tried to minimize the damage here because he only gave Ali 2 bars in a song where Paul Wall seemingly raps for 2 hours (yes! another comment on the disco ball in his mouth!). In a way, you feel bad for Nelly because he's trying to put his friend on, but it all backfires so horribly. The perils of hip hop cronyism, I guess.